Not to start off on the wrong foot with you but... Something about black women has been disturbing me. Wanna know what it is? You wanna what has left me just plain ol' confused?
Good, because Ima tell you and you best believe I'm not the only brotha that is confused by this.
What truly disturbs me about many beautiful black women are their assumptions.
What assumptions? Well unfortunately, there's a huge portion of African-American women who AUTOMATICALLY assume that black men don't like black natural hair.
I've always been amazed from my conversations and experiences with my homegirls, female family, business associates and women I've dated that most felt that black men were not attracted to natural hairstyles for black women.
You got us twisted. For real.
Let me tell you something girl.... You betta stop playin' with me and get over here with them sexy dreadlocks, afros and braids. Like right now, I'm not jokin'(awkward wink while tryin' to look sexy).
See, you think we don't recognize what's going on in America, but many of us do.
We know, trust me, we knooooow that black women have been neglected and ignored big-time by what the "American standard of beauty" says is beautiful, that doesn't mean that we agree with it!
I know that many women wonder "Do black men like natural hair?"
The answer is a big fat YES!
And I'm writing this to you just to let you know that YES a HUUUUUUUGE portion of black guys love natural hairstyles for black women.
From my experience these black guys are usually the men who have something going on for themselves (careers, businesses, education, atleast ambition & a decent job), not some dusty street dude. (Sorry street dudes and all the rats that love them....My apologies.)
Anyway, I have hundreds of friends & business associates who are black men, and I constantly meet thousands of people through the years and I get to have alot of great conversations that shed light on what guys TRULY think about you.
I'm going to tell you EXACTLY why so many brothas LOVE your natural hair, even though many women still won't believe us. (Talk about being mentally beat the heck down by Western standards of beauty...it's messed up....)
But before I give you the reasons we love your natural hair, let me get a few side-notes out of the way....
SIDE-NOTES: Firstly, when I talk about natural black hairstyles. I'm talking about the ladies who have the well-arranged, well-groomed natural hair of course, not the very few that choose to have unkempt chaos goin' on up there.
Guys do not like the grungy stuff, but honestly I rarely see it. Hardly ever and that's a VERY good thing. Y'all be lookin' good...
Secondly, my only intention is to inform you how men feel about natural-haired black women, not to criticize sistas who are not going natural.
I have a preference for natural hair as do many black men, and as I said earlier I am mainly just a groupie of long hair, curly, kinky, straight, it doesn't matter.
For me, I am happy as long as my woman has a good amount hair, plenty of pressed and permed styles look amazing to me and men in general, I just wish they weren't so harmful to you and your hair.
“For black women, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t,”
“If you’ve got straight hair, you’re pegged as selling out. If you don’t straighten your hair, you’re seen as not practicing appropriate grooming practices.”
- Ingrid Banks, associate professor of black studies at UC Santa Barbara.
The Reasons Black Men Love You For Going Natural!
1. We Love The Authenticity Of It
There is something so sexy about a woman that is authentic and unique. I mean, it's really YOU.
It's what you were blessed with from God on full display in all its heavenly glory!
No other group of people on the face of the Earth have such distinct and unique coiled hair. Many men view women who take advantage of your glorious uniqueness to be powerful in spirit.
2. Black Men View You As More Confident
Black hair is almost mystical to our society, it is so misunderstood that it's often the topic of media & social politics. It's like a mystery novel that is read differently and misinterpreted by nearly everyone, including blacks.
For me, when I see a black woman unfazed by the so-called Universal "Standard of beauty" that the media pounds into our minds everyday, I view that woman as truly confident in her beauty. That display of confidence in your beauty is amazingly attractive.
Many men understand that you are grossly underrepresented as beautiful in today's society.
From childhood til now, we've very rarely seen many black women on top-tier fashion catwalks, in Hollywood as the sexy starlet, in mainstream fashion magazines, even finding a black Barbie doll wasn't likely. With all that going against you, you natural girls come off as confident and so sure of yourself. That's hot!
3. Give Our Daughters A Chance To See Visual Examples of Self-Love
Many black women have been getting their hair permed before they even had a say in the matter.
From their childhood up, too many little black girls are taught that in order to be beautiful they needed to start changing themselves immediately. NO TIME TO WASTE!!!
It's not hard to imagine why these girls grow into women that can't imagine a man wanting to see the natural versions of them.
From a very young age, black children are influenced to believe that they are less attractive and worse than others. From the hair to the skin, this propaganda is promoted by the media.
I'm reminded of the heartbreaking "Black doll, White doll" tests done with black children through the years. In these tests, black children(male& female) consistently thought that the doll that looked like them was the bad, less attractive one, etc.
So with that in mind, I and many other black men love the thought of our current and/or future daughters seeing more examples that they are beautiful as they were created. Black children need something outside of mainstream media influencing their opinion of beauty and worthiness. You being/going natural won't do it by itself, but it's a big help.
This is one of the reasons so many black men are excited that more black women are styling their virgin hair. Seeing so many beautiful brown ladies rockin' those sexy twists, dreadlocks, styled-out long fros and teenie-weenie Afros (A.K.A. TWAs) proudly and oh so gloriously is encouraging.
4. We Can TOUCH Your Hair! Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?? 🙂
This is NOT to be underrated!
Being able to run our fingers through, over and around your hair is pure delight for men. With natural women, we can touch you!
Men don't feel all hesitant and on pins and needles around your natural hair. To put it plainly, you are more fun to be with and to physically play with.
The problem most guys have with weave is that we can't touch you when it's in!
We feel like if we dare touch your hair we are playing a game of Operation, we betta not touch the wrong spot or GAME OVER!!!!
Weaves look nice when they are good quality and fresh, the problem usually isn't the look of it. The main problem with weaves for guys is that we feel so limited in touching your hair.
You gotta understand this..... Your hair is such a MAJORLY IMPORTANT PART of your sex appeal for a man. Us needing to feel so hesitant around your hair is a very bad thing for a relationship.
5. We Can.... You Know.... Do Stuff...
YES!!! We can do all kinds of cool stuff at the spur of the moment. We can just be more spontaneous and enjoy life with you. If we go to the beach you natural girls are waaaaaaaay more likely to GET....IN...THE...WATER! Splash around and laugh a little with us.
Black men love you because you seem more willing to do physical things that may get you wet or cause a lil' sweat, you can exercise with us, wrestle around a lil' bit, go hiking, kiss in the rain, whatever!
You are usually just freer to enjoy life with us.
So That’s It!
That's how SOOOOOOO MANY black guys feel about natural hair on black women. And again, if you are reading this and you have weave or perm or whatever. I'm not talking down on you, I got nothin' but love and respect for you sis.
I'm just explaining that black men really do have a lot of love for natural black hairstyles and we find it very appealing.